Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
