I never want to see another naked old woman again.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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