found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
