I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
