12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize