You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
