Sponge bath it is.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
