Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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