Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
