dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
