I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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