My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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