I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
