Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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