Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
