My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
