Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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