Kiss
Puke
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
