your room smells of hookers.
And success
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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