We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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