I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
