I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
