Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Houston, we have a squirter
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
