I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Randomize
