Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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