Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize