Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
