she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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