Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
