you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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