"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
