I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
