Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
