my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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