i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
