We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
