Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
