There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
