You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
