then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
