bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
