He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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