I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
