Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
