This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
