Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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