He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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