One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
