hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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