I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize