are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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