the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
What drink are we having for lunch?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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