My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Randomize
