Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
