dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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