...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize
