Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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