This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
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Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
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I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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