No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize