New invention idea: vibrating tampons
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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