There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
