some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
