sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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