The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
