hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
